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| Tatay Vic (center) at our wedding in 2001. In photo are Norbert and myself, Lolo Fred, Tito Gody, Tita Cresing, Ate Saning and Sr. Irene |
The news of Tatay Vic’s passing yesterday came as a surprise to us all. We really thought he would be around for his 100th birthday which was less than 2 years away. My cousin, Paula, just saw him a couple of weeks ago and he was in good spirits and even joking with her and her husband, Jay. But he was 98 years old. The last of his generation to survive. He was unhappy to always be on the receiving end of news that his friend, his brother, or his classmate died. He has outlived them all.
How can I describe Tatay? I considered this because I wanted my kids to have a memory of him, not of the frail and old lolo who needed assistance when he walked but of what he really was. The patriarch of the Salonga clan, a self-made entrepreneur, a civic leader, but most of all a loving and father to my mom, Mila and my Ninang Marcia, Tito Rick and Tito Gody, and a doting grandpa to us, his apos.
I was blessed with the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my Tatay Vic and Nanay Remy when I was growing up. We called them Tatay and Nanay because Lolo and Lola seemed to age them, he said. Even at 98, I think he still did not want to admit his true age. He would only smile when we asked him and celebrating birthdays made him a teeny bit uncomfortable.
Tatay and Nanay frequently visited us in Manila from Cabiao or we would regularly visit them. I would usually spend long summer vacations with them as well as Christmas, Holy Week, All Saints Day, etc. He and Nanay would come to Manila in their white Datsun (Nissan) sedan or their cream-colored Mercedes-Benz with their driver, Mang Mando. My bag would be all packed and ready to go back to Cabiao with them. Those were happy times.
Tatay would tell me how as a young man, he went to Manila for college. He graduated with a degree in Chemistry, majoring in Soap Making from Adamson University. As the eldest of his family, he went back to Cabiao and helped his father manage his properties. He married my Nanay Remy, who was a school teacher. Nanay told me the story of how a horse-drawn cart carried supplies, food, and people back and forth from his house to hers on their wedding day and at the end of the day, the horse died from exhaustion.
Tatay was an entrepreneur at heart. Instead of being a chemist, he invested in a small general store and other businesses while Nanay continued teaching at the elementary school and eventually became the principal. My mom and her siblings helped with the family business. His business grew and eventually he went into the rice milling business and sold rice by the bulk. He practiced simple and frugal living and believed in prudent investing. He was a very hard worker and was a good provider for his family. He worked hard so that his children will be able to attend a good college and stand on their own two feet. They did.
When his father passed away, the leadership of the clan fell on his lap. The Salonga family is huge. He had 12 siblings and they all looked to him for guidance. He was “Kuyang” (big brother) to all of them and they all respected and revered him. Most of them lived close. Either next door or across the street from their house or in the neighboring barrio. I knew this first hand when I would see them come in and out of Tatay’s house or we would go to their house. During family gatherings, he always had the seat of honor.
Summer vacations and family gatherings in Cabiao were always memorable. When I was a kid our family (Salonga and De Leon) had our annual family picnic during Black Saturday of the Holy Week IN the nearby river. This is not a grammatical error. The family picnic did not happen on the river bank but in the river itself. In the summer, the water gets low enough but still permit swimming. Days before the event, Tatay would have his workers and men from the barrio carry long tables and canopies and set up in the middle of the lazy river. Relatives would come from all over, even the US, for this family reunion. It was a feast! We would eat on banana leaves or banana bark, swim, hang out with cousins, aunt, and uncles and have a great time. This tradition ended when the river eventually dried up but everyone always had fond memories of it.
One year, Tatay decided to build a big swimming pool for us his apos so we can swim everytime we come and visit. Those were the best summers ever! My cousins and I would swim, eat, and swim some more. He also had a fish pond at the back of his property where he had a resthouse built and we would fish for tilapia with our makeshift fishing rods. If not, we would stay at the rest house where you could hear the breeze until it lulls you into a nice afternoon nap. Because we liked the pool and the resthouse so much, Tatay decided to build one more and then another and saw that there might be a business opportunity in this. With Cabiao being an agricultural area, there are not a lot of things to do. He thought it would be a great idea to build a swimming resort on his property where people can stay, swim, and enjoy the things his apos were already enjoying. From this idea came Rose Garden Resort. He was 75 when he started this business. He enjoyed it so much that he kept building, adding pools until there was 8 in total with cabanas, huts, picnic areas. He was hands on with designing the landscaping, building the social halls, etc. People flocked to this resort especially on the hot summer months. My cousins and I would help with admissions, cash register etc.
Christmas Day was always spent in Cabiao. We would drive up from Manila dressed in our best clothes for the family gathering. On our arrival, there would be people from the barrio waiting outside for Tatay’s aguinaldo (money given on Christmas Day). My cousins and I would prepare our song and dance number or recite a poem or we would not get our aguinaldo. Nanay and Tatay always enjoyed to hear our presentation although I know that not one of us possesses an ounce of musical talent. Each of us would get a large check (I am not disclosing the amount ) to be deposited into a bank account he set up for each of us. There is always a lot of food, gifts would be exchanged and we would go to our other relatives' homes to visit.
When Nanay Remy died in 1995, Tatay was heartbroken. He lost his life partner 2 months shy of their 50th wedding anniversary which we were all preparing for. This happened 5 days before Christmas so we were all devastated. He was already in his 80s then and his children were worried about him. But Tatay was strong. He was always active and ate very well. He liked his energy drink (Sustagen or Ovaltine) and kept busy. We were surprised when he announced one day to the family that he was courting the principal of the same school where Nanay was once the principal. The whole family was caught underfoot. He was 83 years old and she was 60. But when we met Tita Cresing, we just fell in love with her and knew she was the right person. Their wedding in 1998 was probably the most attended one of their town. Mind you, this was Cabiao. Nothing much happens here and this was the town news. But we were just very happy for them and we knew that deep in our hearts that Tita Cresing will be good for him. I was lucky enough to accompany them to their honeymoon in Hong Kong with my Ninang Marcia. We were their tour guides but we also got to witness how sweet and loving they were to each other. Tita Cresing sort of adopted all of us as her own and took care of each of us just like our Nanay would. Our family is very blessed.
It was under Tita Cresing’s care that Tatay reached the ripe age of 98. We are very thankful for that. They were married 12 years. There were a lot of happy times. He was able to go to my college graduation, attend my wedding, and meet my kids, Nathan and Hannah. They called him Lolo Tatay. But due to his age, he frequently got sick, lost his hearing, and his eyesight became poor. Being the active and vibrant person he is, he was more than anything, impatient and unhappy about his condition and that he cannot do what he used to do. He still had a very sharp memory and kept up to date with what was going on with each of us. My family and I were very fortunate to spend Christmas with him again when we visited the Philippines in December 2009. When I gave him a hug, he quipped that I seemed to have been gaining weight. Typical Tatay! But it pained all of us to see him having difficulty walking, hearing what we had to say, and feeling too tired to participate in the family celebration. In my heart, I knew that might be the last time I will get to spend time with him. It was true.
I will surely miss Tatay. I know that each and everyone in my family feel the same way. We were so blessed to have him and experience this love all these years. He was a very good lolo and it was a privilege to be called his apo. We know that Nanay will be on the other end waiting for him. Oh, what stories they will probably tell.
Thanks for everything, Tatay.
